Mr. Nobody's What is Love 2.0 : Lost Inner

The salty waters washes the feet of a mysterious man as he walks in the edge of the tourist filled beach that is busily burning the cold out of their skin and trying to catch some colours into their pale complexion. The continuous wind sweeps through every inch of the man's expose skins that is beginning to heat up by the endless sunshine of the firey spotlight that is clear free from any blanket clouds. The man's path leaves footprints in the tracing sands that slowly fades away with his memories of past which constantly haunts him. That is all to change. He is an empty blank piece of white sheet and like the morning sand of the beach there barely any traces of the previous life the night before. His heart is empty and careless. He have no more personality or words to speak of. He has nothing and he is nothing. He has finally becomes a true nobody inside. He is incognito to the world. He has finally become himself. A no one. A man in the crowd with limited connections and minimal conversations. He is Mr. Nobody. The journey here he learns to become nobody on the outside. Now he finally learned to become nobody on the inside.

No possession. No love or hatred. No goals to achieve or regrets to redeem. Nothing at all. If you leave him here and take a close look at the world he view from his eyes, you would understand his reasons of achieving this state of mental and metaphysical purity. You wont be too quick to judge his purpose. And again, no one interacts with him with any interest anyways. They will overlook him as easily as a broken shell in the vast ocean. Silence and shadows are his closes companion. Its hard to understand how a man living in such a positive vibe and soul soothing soundtrack of a place can still be as dark and complex as him. The further he escape confusion the more intricate the electrifying synapses  of his clear mind.

A juxtaposition that is well balanced. Still there is something missing. His heart and his mind cant decide what it is but the sensation of finding and the quest of this hidden ingredient of his life is stronger that ever. He is still searching for something. Not at all that you would expect but all that is missing. The lost jigsaw to this puzzle of his life. The meaning of it would be as adequate and important to him as the meaning of life, the universe and everything.

The ships of a more modern craftsmanship floats in the blue horizon and the aeroplanes make its routine flights over the skies. He walks alone in the sea of soul. Those who share the familiar race and gender often ogles onto the bare skins and topless female tourist and make remarks of sexual desire. He understands this source and goal but have no proper motivations to chase it, though he fakes it in order to not be insulted or consider as a homosexual male. Not that it is wrong to be gay but merely he wished not to be titled as one. His acting abilities in pretending to have a sexual desire of immense proportions but yet a lack of interest in it gave the perfect catch to a couple of helpless woman who somehow attracted to him. Young and old. Local and Foreign. He had them if he wanted but something is not right.

In his mind there was something disturbing. There was someone missing. There was a red car upon a hill. There was a nameless female counterpart who on the same quest as him. To disappear. He is gone physically and mentally. She is gone physically and mentally. But now the time has come to disappear together.

but how do you find someone who dont exist? How do you show that someone who dont exist that you exist when you dont?

How do Mr Nobody find the Missing Girl ?

part 1:
http://the23rdlife.blogspot.com/2012/04/hitchhikers-journey-to-being-lost-and.html

 Part 3:
 http://the23rdlife.blogspot.com/2012/04/mr-nobody-unexpected-journey-home.html

Babylon, Langkawi

The sounds of the crashing waves echoed through the fallopian tubes of my ear to the vast and now relaxed complex connections of my brain's synapses and neutrons. Its unreal and out of my deepest dreams, desire to be here. Here at a recycled and reggae themed lounge that i would call my home for the next few days or more. The sunlight pierce through the bamboo leaves which has become the roof of my table. The tiny particles of sand sneaks its way between my toes as if to remind me of my current location which has no sense of reality. Its actually happening. I'm at a beach and not just for vacation of a short period but a new life and a new home.

I live in a tree house by the beach. It is wooden made that is compact and only five feet tall. To get it here, there is an obstacle of climbing up the ladder that has hardly any space for your body to move into a suitable positions and the steps are nailed into the two strong long log that is often filled with sands. Then there is a small bridge towards the door but it doesn't lead straight to the opening but rather to the sides of it. The small opening of a door will force you to bend to enter and test your acrobatics abilities if entering under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Once entered, you will find your head scraping the bamboo and leaves roofing that often leaks during a rain and a incandescent light bulb hanging in the middle of the room right next to the middle pillar. The floor is carpeted with a cheap plastic rubber like mat. There is also tiny frame less bed or better yet just a mattress laying on the corner of the floor with a small cupboard and a miniature table that filled with possessions of the occupant, my roommate. In fact half of the room is filled with his belonging while I sleeps on the floor and place my stuff neatly on the other corner of the room. There is plentiful of mosquito that swarms and keeps me company though the smokes from the coil that fills the air do help to keep them at bay. You will also find lizards and other creepy crawly climbing the bamboo wall. At least i have the window with the view of the sea and stars. With the crashing waves as my lullabies and stars as my night lights.

My job here at Babylon Mat Lounge is simple. Help out. Help out with anything that needs to be done also every morning it is my duty to clean up the place from the after party trash of every night. Also it is my job to recycle their cans, glass, plastic and others. I also need to water the plants. There is a lot of things to do. And i didn't write as much as i wished i did. That is the main reason why i had to go. The pay wasnt that good but i didnt care about pay after all, free booze, free food, easy girls that pretty much compensate the low salary. It is just i wanted to get away to have time to write but i didnt write as much. In fact i wrote less and spoke less english among the locals and the tourist. Plus my father do not like the idea of me working for low salary and my mom doesnt want my sister to be alone in Kuala Lumpur. I am sorry Babylon. I truly love you and will always miss you. I hate myself right now to not be able to write anything good enough about this place. Its too awesome but also too private to tell.



Will try to write about Babylon again....

Mr. Nobody's What is Love 2.0 : Journey to Being Lost and Unexpected Companion

What is love? Love isn't about companion or soul mates. Love is everything. Love is nothing. Love is a question to be answer. Not through relationships. To find the real answer of love, one has to remove himself from the equation of worldly possession and status. To truly understand the journey of completeness of being nothing. Once you are deduced to a point of zero value and find yourself thinking about only one person and one person alone. That is love. Or at least that is what i have discovered. Here is the story of that journey.

This story begins like any other stories. It begins with a simple word, in this case the word is 'Fuck, I'm fucked' that is whispered under the very breath of our character that we will revolve our story upon. Why he was saying those obscene words? Merely because he is currently trap in the middle of an empty highway and he just missed his bus. His story of course didnt start there but his history and personal agenda dont hold too much importance to be mention in this story. Whether he was dumped by his former lover or fired from his former job and now running away from it all or he is just that silly. It didnt matter. All that matter was that he didnt woke up this morning expecting to be deserted at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere and miles away from the next civilization. This is a story about a young man or an old boy, we cannot be so sure yet neither can he, who will learn to be completely lost and finally learning to become himself as Mr Nobody.

So how did he end up in the middle of nowhere? Simple. Earlier the week, he does what he does best and write. He was ghost writing a simple assignment for a fellow client who paid him a reasonable amount of cash which he immediately waste it on getting the cheapest and quickest bus ticket out of the city towards a new destination. Unfortunately, this boy also had been under the influence of the immense consumption and inhalations of pure delusional marijuana which causes him to miss judge the quick hands of time. He got onto the bus thinking everything will be fine and doze off to a nap as the bus make its way up north of the land. Half way there, the bus makes its routine stops at a rest station for its passengers to embark on a toilet break. The boy however thought that it had finally reach it destination and carried down his bags with him. In the toilet, he took the longest and most glorious pee he had ever witness, words can only describe the moment as a great challenge to the Niagara Falls. Once out of the toilet, he realized there was no bus left at the stop and utter the very words which this story had begin with.

He sat there at the rest stop alone. No living soul around anywhere. No signs to mention of his location. His phone gave no signals. He is finally lost and alone. He pushed back his scruffy long hair from his eyes along with the sweats that slithering down from it. He sat there. He not thinking of a way out or anything like that. In fact he is not thinking at all. It is not because of the influence of drug but merely because of who he is. He always wanted to be lost and now he is. He sat there hearing the deep breathe of the forest behind him that echoes in the range of mountains. The breezy winds pushes the mist to cover the rest stop giving break from the scrounging sun. He hear the cries of the animals that is pierced by the highway of vehicles in a hurry to get away from this. He hear the whispers of trees and they inhabitants who are completely oblivious to his presence. He opens his eyes and saw the massive truth of the universe and understood what is to be done. He took out his mars bars and ate it.

After he washes down the caramel chocolate from his throat, he began to walk. Each footstep he make are loud and not because he is a terrible walker but because there is no other sound to cover his tracks. Every move he makes he saw the delusional tracks of his aura behind like a wave of lights. The eyes of the shadowed forests stares at him in paranoid ways. A car passes by as he tries to catch a ride with it. Sadly it didn't stop. A few more cars resulted in the same way of him walking on further. In fact it went on from a few hours, after he walks up and down the twisted snake back of the hills before a car finally decides to stop to his rescue. He hitched a ride. Finally.

To his surprise, the car that stop for him was a red perodua MYVI, which is quite rare in his eyes and plus the car plate was 4201 which could only be a coincidence. What more surprising was that the driver of that car was a female. Not an old or ugly female but a rather fine beautiful young female. He thought this girl could either be mad to pick up a hitchhiker or that lonely but question not her reasons and enjoyed her good gesture. She was a very nice girl who talks a lot more that he wanted but complaint not. Her flowing brown hair was fringes her dark eyes that fixed onto him. Her fair complexions made greyer by the lightnings of dullness. But there is nothing dull about her. She talks to him about life, the universe and everything. They enjoyed each other company for the rest of the ride. We shall not dealt deeper into their long tedious boring journey for its too plain to write but nice to imagine it or view it as an indie movie. What happened was that they had good time.

They stop on top a lonely hill and drank some wine which she had stocked up in the boots of her car. They ate sandwiches before a delightful dessert. Now many would imagine a sweet romantic story by now or for the boys who might think they would have some one lonely sexy time. Sadly neither of it will happen. Maybe it did but i am not writing it for its their own privacy. All i can say is that they were happy for once in their life to be exactly where they wanted to be. Lost. Each of their tiny little senses of their delicate body was enlightened with the compassionate nature of their oblivion environment and company. They dazzle and ponder upon each others life stories without inquiring further details which might bring back the useless information of the previous life. They consummate their intuitive questions to a conclusions of bliss and satisfaction of emotional, intellectual and physical climax before they separate their ways. She left him at a small town without a name, a number or anything that might be useful to contact each other. Her exact final words were "The universe brought us together and with such luck we might run into each other again." His final thoughts were "Fuck."

She left him there with nothing more that a final kiss upon his lips as she drives away into the horizon as if she had set the control into the heart of the sun. Just as mysterious she came into his life that is how she left. He was puzzled and had nothing to remind him of her. Did she even existed at all. No evidence could state that she did. No evidence of her at all, except for the moist stain of her lips onto his. She was the true nobody. His true competitor. His companion in this quest of life. He will hopefully find her again. Or at least until someone slaps his face and wake him out of his delusions.

I missed the last ferry to my destination and need to spend the night sleeping out on the streets like a homeless man. Not like, i am a homeless man now. No home to call my own. I have lost myself in the land of an unknown. Hard cold dirty cements is the bed of this poor man tonight. The only company i have is the buzzing pestilence of the mosquito which never fails to suck the illusion of comfort from my delusional eyes. I walk and wonder around in this small town from places to places searching of the perfect shelter. There is no shelter. Even in the big grand house of god, i am forced to lay in front of the locked gates under the cloudless and starry night skies. The phone rings continuously to check on my safety from worried voices of familiar relations. From past lover to brothers of different blood to family of suckers. I feel sorry for them to not be able to understand my view right now. This is what i wanted. This is what i craved for. A life without direction or reason. A driftwood. A driftwood who with a memory of angel in his mind. Another driftwood who will make this driftwood complete again.
I will find her again. Somehow.

 
part 2 :
http://the23rdlife.blogspot.com/2012/04/mr-nobody-lost-inner.html

part3:
 http://the23rdlife.blogspot.com/2012/04/mr-nobody-unexpected-journey-home.html

A New Update on the story of Anna Maria :
http://the23rdlife.blogspot.com/2012/08/story-of-unexpected-lovers-anna-maria.html