Click here and join us in our new domain...

Monday, 28 January 2013

I Hate It Here

Do you want to know who I am?

Do you really want to know what you have done?

Do you really want to know the truth of my predicaments?

Who am I? I am the product of our civilization. I am the outcome of generations of bad decision and poor luck. I am the children of your broken dreams. I am the victim of your greed. I am fucked up. I could hear my poor old mother weeping on the phone with my tired but strong sister. Why is she weeping? She is a recovering ex-junkie who has a lying cheating husband who play mind games that is pushing her suicidal tendency to a critical point. Drunk !@#$%^&* who is beating up a suicidal junkie when her spirit is broken. What an amazing example to teach my poor !@#$%^&* of a brother, barely old enough to even understand the difference between superman and god. A seven years old boy's night is not filled with bedtime stories but rather the tears and shouting of his fucked up parents.

No surprise though from a heritage such as mine. From the father side, here is a struggling family out of the racism regime who broken home they build. A sweet lovely grandmother alone and sick in an old folks home, lost contact with her own daughter due to petty arguments, a son lost in the eastern lands due to denial of his roots, a rich successful youngest son who is too busy for a friendly visit. Oh how her late husband could see them now, his struggle and sacrifice in the war from not only the bullets of his enemies but the scorn of society against their beautiful affair of cross-traditional marriage. He would cry to see his wife alone and loveless. Poor way for an old soul to die. !@#$%^&* had it easy in comparison to my mother's side. Here is a family who past would make soap opera drama and tragedy sonnets look like a child's stuffed puppet show. A sixty years old woman working minimum wage for a big !@#$%^&* super rich company that puts in oil in your car for high price but pay their workers to the lowest cost. She works tirelessly for that oil  so she could feed that lazy !@#$%^&* step grandfather of mine and feeding all her useless kids who is even thought married but yet cant even pay for that fucking cigarettes they burning their lungs with. Useless little cunts getting fucked up and knocked up before even the age of 16 and forced into marriage because this fucking country scorns at the idea of an abortion but yet find prom night dumpster babies to be unresolvable problem.

Fucking relatives just waiting for my sweet grandmother to rest in the grave so they could inherit whatever !@#$%^&* left in her accounts. This is the reason why I dont like family gatherings. Fucking cannibalistic family tree.

My sister. My darling strong female. You sacrifice your dreams for us all. You hold this fucked up house together with your ear of tolerance to our bullshit. The spirit of the great queens of Africa ships brightly in your decisive mature decisions. Like a mother sheltering her young in the war. You are Nefertiti with your commanding voice but yet you whisper the words of Cleopatra to have your ways, you are ever so caring like Mother Theresa. And though you may have lost your minds with your delusions of haunting spirits but like the Joan of Arc, you continue your fight. You are the embodiments of the spirit Gaia. I always love you. Your suffering as these vermin rob you of your youth and innocence. I swear to you my sister, my brother one day these Babylonian systems shall burn to the ground and we shall all be free in the land of Promise. One day you will never need to hide your pains anymore, one day a man will hold you and protect you with his love and give you the proper attention and affection that you deserved. One day you will kiss a man who will love you more than i could ever give.

My brother. My poor brother. You are so young. The future is yours. How unfortunate you are to be living in the height of these invisible jail of our minds. Our ghetto, our trench-town is being more and more dangerous.I will do anything to ensure that the Lion of Judah would roar loudly for you and your generation. A Rastafarian life is tough but you will not have to face it alone. I will always be here to ensure a spliff is yours to spare. They rob us in this Book of Life but remember it was written that we shall prevail. We are now slaves of poverty chained onto the debts of man-made monetary economy. But exalt yourself and catch the fire to keep you warm for my arms will always be yours to hold. You are my future. You are the reason why i keep fighting. You are the source of the flame that will burn Babylon. Mon Petit Frère. From the first time I hold your tiny fragile little fingers, the very first time I saw your small scared eyes spying through your little eyelids to see mine,  I knew you would be the death of me. I knew i would die for you. You are everything I cannot achieve. You will be stronger and far superior that I would ever be. 13 years apart we are, its like having my own little son that is my brother. You will change the world in ways that I have yet to imagine. But in order for you to do that I have to be strong and help you to survive and break down the defenses of our enemies. 

We are Soul Jah. We are in the Jah Army. No more troubles, no more wars and No more Confrontations. We want peace. You shall have a new world of joy to play on. We are the troops of freedom. Every single one of us who is against the immoral system of greed from the corporate monetary agendas and materialistic propaganda that poisons the minds of millions through their controlled medias and fear mongering through the corrupted religious belief that tries to save your soul that is never lost in the first place. It is in you that the kingdom of heaven is found, your soul have no Original Sin for curiosity and knowledge is the path to enlightenment and not the blind faith that they preached. We are part of this universe. We are one with the forces of nature. We are Jah. But we too are the Devil. The universe is constant balance of the Ying and Yang. It isnt about taking sides but respecting the importance of both criteria. We can find harmony in this. You my young brother shall restore the equilibrium of mankind with the earth and the universe. Your generation have to. You are our last hope. Our father may have given up on the dreams of the sixties but we shall not. My generation have to rise up to ensure that yours will paved a new road for mankind. They have lost the importance of us but we shall not forget yours.    

If I die to see you become a great and honest man I would have succeed my purpose in life. Even as young as you are, you always have faith in me even if have not in myself. I will always be there for you. Sabali. Patience. That is all I can do right now. I cannot rush and make the same mistake like the generations before, My generations maybe blinded by these medians of brian dead content but I believe in a higher power, the higher power of Human Spirit. I believe in Jah. I believe the truth will overpower the lies. The world is too fucked up but I will count my blessing. We are the true hustlers, we are the real swaggers. It is not the clothes that you wear or the style that you talk but how you struggle from every sweat on your backs to gain some recognition and a better life. That is hustling and swag is the style of how tiring it is to hustle but yet we keep it cool and always have a smile on our face. That is hustle and that is swag. Not these fakers. But i guess there are better terms we could always use such as the Working Class Heroes. Its not too late for a change.

We will realise that the most important things is not this petty little arguements and useless conflicts of green pieces of paper which will never do us any good. If we are to change we need to broden our minds. Focus on the real peaceful teachings of the prophets. Then Buddha shall smile again, Jesus will not die in vain, Moses effort wont be useless, Mohammad will be remembered and Abraham can smile again. It is not what sets us apart but what holds us together. Love. Love is all that they preach. We will not argue over useless disagreement who can we love. We will love everyone once again. Love and Peace. That is the most important thing. Science and Art will be respected at their highest status again. We will feed all the mouths in the world without killing our planet Gaia. We shall not pollute and restore our everlasting energy in a safe method. We shall conquer the stars. I hope.

My tragic past and present maybe shocking to some but by any standard this is a common life on this society across the globe. Some life is easier and some life is harder. Either way we are all fu.cked up. As long as the rich are getting richer and the poor getting poorer, this is the only result of life that will come out. A dysfunctional family trying to hold on. A dad drinking his mistakes away from the debts of his credit cards, A mother losing affection of her husband turning to hard drugs for a sense of alive, a student sister trying to hold the family together, a baby brother oblivious but in danger and a suicidal boy knowing it all and hating it all before he even begins. This is the life that they have caused. This is the life that you had caused. Money and Greed. Power and Corruption. Violence in the media. Fear in the Church. No love can be found in this system. No morality could be drawn from their agenda. Only pain. 

We should stop blaming one another and help to fix this species. Before we help other animals it is time we help our own human beings. If not for ourselves, then for our brothers, for our sisters, for our sons and daughters, our future grandchildren. For them. This world doesnt belong to the old but rather the young. This earth is was never made for us, we are made from this earth. Let us ensure that we could survive. Let us ensure that the youth of tomorrow wont have to utter the words : I hate it here.

 So who am i?
I am the voice of your child.
The Voice of your mistake.
The voice of hope.
The voice of the future...

No comments:

Post a Comment