Click here and join us in our new domain...

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he’s from the future

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he’s from the future

By  on 1 April 2010, 10:33am
A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.
The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment’s vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.
Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his ‘time machine power unit’, a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. “Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I’m here to stop it ever happening.”
This isn’t the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so “abhorrent” that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.
Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock’n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. “Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn’t mention bloody black holes.”
Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
The Mysteries of Creation › bež ti, bež!

A Look at the Future

  1. I know enough about science and about paranoid shizophrenia to know that this guy is certifiably insane. He is text book. God complex and all. Secondly I also study astro physics. The bullshit lines that this guy is feeding you is completely made up and not even possible. His name is even made up. He is a fraud. Eloi is the name of the people in H.G. Well's Time Machine that are the food for the meat eating people called the Morlocks. Before you believe someone's bullshit. READ A DAMNED BOOK! Secondly, the name Cole comes from Stephen Cole who merchandised a series called, "Dr. Who". Perhaps you have heard of it. There is also a woman character in Dr. Who called Lily Cole who creates fire. Do your research. Don't be a damned sheep. Eloi Cole, you are a conn and sick. You need SERIOUS help and you need to stop dragging people into your paranoid delusions. What you think is real is NOT REAL. Get some help. Good luck to you.

    I do not care what your books and science has instructed your brain to believe in and make you think that: I have the complete truth of it all! Bah i just dont see the need for this experiment and the need to play god! when mother nature already gives us all we need to live! I choose to believe this is a sick experiment that could trigger a big disaster for human kind...the rest is just mad ego souless science ! Thumbs up Eloi Cole!

No comments:

Post a Comment