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Friday, 26 April 2013

A Fork in the Road

There was a fork in the road. I do not know why there is a fork on the road but it is there. I wonder the story that the fork has to offer but I could help wondering the irony of a man who is currently running away from making decisions in his life finding a fork on the road. You see this man who found the fork on the road is also currently facing a dilemma of choosing a path in the road of life. You can say he is stuck on the junction or a fork on the road. He has to choose a life that would set his entire life in motion. Many forks has he been on but none like this. This was a special fork, it has dire consequences just like that fork on the road he found it too has beautiful ornaments of gold and silver. The choice he choose would lead to happiness or regrets. Maybe you don't understand exactly what I mean. Maybe you have never seen such a fork in your life or maybe you have been oblivious to its existence. Or maybe i should start explaining this fork of mine.

All my life I have been running away from tough choice and escaping responsibilities. I always hate to make a decision because I always wish that life, fate, destiny or whatever would find me and make those choices for me but as I grow another year older I began to realize that is utter bullshit. No fate but what we make said Sarah Connor. I guess it is time to re-evaluate my life. Even when i was back in high school  i never really see myself in colleges but nevertheless I found the experience tempting, now I realize that it is necessary not for educational purposes for education can easily be found when searched for but a matter of paper qualifications. You see no matter how much information and study you have done on a certain topic of intellectual understandings without a certificate of proof our superficial society will never validate such an effort. I mean I have done a lot of reading, research and knowledge gathering on the topic of 'Perception of Reality and the Altering of Consciousness through Psychoactive Stimulants in both Neurological aspect and Philosophical/Spiritual aspect' from all sources of information and experimentation but without a degree of such achievements i would sound like nothing more than a junkie who love to try on new drugs. Which i am but nevertheless the amount of effort into reading such materials are not an easy task. I am not reading just junkie forums, i find credible information from notable scientist such as Huxley, Leary, Mckenna and many more. But society doesnt want to accept it unless you have a paper from an institution stating that you did this.

I don't blame society for having such an attitude for many could easily just lie about things they say they did but I ask you this, how many college students actually know what they are studying about. Many don't even care. How about those students which I have help ghost write their assignments and shit, they graduate without knowing anything but yet they are highly respectable because they have a bachelor degree or a master. Fuck this shit man. I know what you are saying why don't i just go to college then and stop complaining. But how could i? After high school my parents were paying off their debt to the cutthroat banks and couldn't afford to put me into college. If i was to take loan from the government then i would too be in debt and that aint a smart move to make to start your life. Learn and have fun for 3 years and paying debts for the rest of your life? Nah, I will have a tough time paying the taxes alone don't want to be tied up to the government or any banks, my life is not a debt. But thank god or anything else up there, that my parents are finally climbing out of their debts recently and able to finally cash out some financial aid for my further studies. But here is another problem, which institution shall i join that is within my budget? What courses that are available in that institution that I am interested in learning? And what kind of job do i want to restrict myself too with this paper? I know they say you wont normally be doing jobs that you thought you would get with your course but fuck that shit. I have worked countless of places in countless of different fields and I am fucking tired of it all. I just want to learn properly a single interest and pursue it in a career. So i thought to myself, Drugs. That is a good career. To learn every tiny details of how the drugs effect the mind and of course to try them as well but who would pay me to take drugs? Where can i learn to take drugs? Haha...Well the closest course possible to my interest of the brain and drugs would be Neuroscience but hell it aint easy to find a college that provide that within the budget that i have. Private colleges are too fucking expensive and government universities would be too outdated. I mean it is a nice fantasy to go to a government university and work with them after graduation and teach this old fuckers on the benefits of psychedelic perceptions but knowing the state of my country right now, i have a feeling i would be jailed before my second semester.

Maybe its time for me to learn the psychology of our human civilization with the immense history.

Maybe its time for me to learn the sociology of our anthropological nature.

Maybe its time for me to learn the tricks of administration to bring social justice to humanity.

Maybe its time for me to learn the technological tools to provide a world of abundances that would not hurt my mother Gaia.

Or maybe I should just runaway right now. Take my bag of weed and walk my way up to the mountains of Himalayas and hide with the happiest nation on earth, Bhutan.

I dont need money, I dont need wealth or comfort of human culture.
I need the open air and freedom of my soul.
All I need is the sweet ganja and an adventure as a travelling hippie.

But what happiness can i gain if I know that it is in my capability to end the torturous ban on cannabis in my country.
How can i be happy if my fellow men are trap in the jail of their mind.

Maybe I need to think again.

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